Feather Weight

On Saturday, Miki gave me a word she sensed while worshipping during service.

She felt that the Lord wanted to tell me that I am a real man; whole and complete.

Then she saw a vision of a feather floating in the air. She sensed the Lord telling her that I'm made just like the feather, delicate, gentle and soft, yet, still a real man. She also sensed the Lord telling her that from this day onwards, He's going to cut off all the insecurities in my life.

Chim... but somehow it also pretty much summed up the struggles I've been having in my heart lately.

In the beginning of the year, the Lord had surfaced an issue of significance in my heart.

I'm not a typical male-male kind of guy. I'm more sensitive and emotional. But please... don't label me a SNAG. To me that term has an undermining effect on manhood. I'm just more in touch with my feelings that's all.

But in effect, I have been asking myself these questions.

"Am I comfortable with who the Lord has made me to be?"

"Or am I conforming to the pattern of the stereotypical males you see portrayed in Hollywood? You know, your Rambos and Terminators..."

As I write this, I know the Lord is challenging me to be who I am.

And I believe that the Man in a man really comes out when he becomes comfortable with who the Lord has made him to be and lives by those traits. Then he would truly be effective in his realm, in his family, with his children and his disciples and fulfill the destiny that Christ has for him.

"For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139: 13-16