Closet Director

I told myself, I'd sleep early tonight...

I told myself I'd sleep early tonight...

*deng* wrong answer...

It should read, "I thought I told myelf I'd sleep early tonight...."

Well, I should have really, but it's already two in the morning and I'm still half awake! And I'm still thinking about catching a little conversation with Him... man... time is slipping through my fingers like fine sand...

But anyway, the reason why I was held up was cos I was on the phone with my buddy Chao Yang...

er... yeah..

but that ended at 1230am I think...

then I caught an interview on TVBi with Wong Kar Wai. You know, Chung King Express, Ah Fei's Story, In the Mood for Love and finally, if you still don't get who he is, 2046.

So, I was watching it and I thought hey, here's an insight to how a director thinks... hmmm... interesting...

and I found out that he really isn't the ARTAS director everyone thought him to be. He's actually quite pracitcal and real, just anyone going through life, making a living out of what he does best... he's actually quite ordinary, really... which was quite contrary to what I thought he'd be... slow, deliberate in his answers blah, blah, blah... you know, the usual arty farty kinda person... poser kind... :P

but he just blabbered on about how he made it from a tv script writer to a tv director, before making it as a movie director; and how his audience boo-ed in the cinema at his very first art film...

Coincidentally, it's the second time I saw an interview with a director this week... and it's amidst a really draining and frustrating week of scheduling and coordinating... AGAIN...

I saw the first interview of another Chinese director who funded and made his own art films and gained international recognition. Can't remember his name now, but I do remember the feeling when I saw the interview...

My heart just ached... and i just said to myself, this is what I wanna do... all my life... to make movies... or rather, to tell stories...

Then on Friday, as I was spending time with the Lord, I just heard Him telling me, "just go and do what you really wanna do."

and 3 weeks before while on a short retreat at Mun;s place, He said something similar, "why are you limiting yourself?"

and then on Sat, during the service, about purpose in life, Miki came to pray for me and said this: (to paraphrase)

"the Lord wants you to fly like a bird. He did not a portion a part of the sky for you to fly in. He gives you the whole sky to go fly in. He wants me to tell you that you do not need to ask Him for permission to do things. He wants you to go do it."


I just wept when I heard those words... very healing... :) thanks! miki!

Hmm... and I'm reminded of the parable of the talents... the servant who hid his talents actually thought he was doing his master a favour, but was called a wicked servant instead... oops...

O GOD, is this a sign...??

I think it's pretty obvious isn't it...?

Hmmm.... hehehe...

time to make my little stick men movies... hmm.... hehehehe.... and gather all my toys that I've collected over the years and start assigning them roles... hehehe...

knew that barbie doll would come in handy some day...