the 100th post: the Lion, the Vision and the Battle

well, whadaya know?!

it's my 100th post for this blog!

wow... and to think I actually managed to survive my blogging career for so long... i amaze myself! :)

so, from philosophical bull, to writing about my fav anime and bands; from very rarely seen poetic musings that still pops out once in a blue moon to self-indulgence entries that shamelessly promotes my band and my song-writing capabilities or none thereof... it's been a great ride! :)

but for my 100th post, I'll be sharing about my faith journey that the Lord has put me through for the past... 3? 4? ... well... few years! ta-dah...

It happened on one faithful night when my roller-coaster ride began.

I always knew I had an issue of fear and pride. I have personally termed it as the "self-preservation" spirit that is so strong in me. I knew I needed to lose it else there is nothing that the Lord can use in me.

So, I made this dumb, totally naive prayer to the Lord while I was in the toilet.........

peeing.....

and I said this,"Lord, get rid of my Tan1 Sheng1 Pa4 Si3 (roughly translated as "Want Life, Scared Die") spirit!"

at this moment in time, you'd expect thunder to roar and lightning to flash across the sky to signiffy what a grand moment it was in the life and history of my life... or tears start rolling down my cheeks and I hug the toilet bowl, bawling as the Spirit came upon me...

sorry. none of that melo-dramatic bull happened...

I pulled up my PJs and went back to sleep... :)

then slowly but surely, everything, I mean everything began to happen...

the first thing that God dealt with was my fear for my life.

this was just one week after i got into TOUCH and then i was down with fever for a few weeks before being admitted into the hospital and grounded for 8 days... i was in there so long i can't rem how many ward mates i've changed...

i was diagnosed an unidentified hepatitis. the docs were also baffled and they just told me my liver enzymes were at an all time high and if things continued the way it went, my liver would fail and i would do a andre de cruz.. ala slim 10 liver transplant...

woo hoo... what a scare... i rem i was freaking scared i had trouble sleeping at night... all i did was pray and seek God each day... but throughout my stay there, the Lord constantly told me that this disease is not onto death, but unto life... i held on to this word each day at the hospital, but each day when the docs came back with the latest enzyme reading, it either went up or it remained... what a test of faith... but the Lord told me it will eventually go down and i continued to hang on that promise... Psalm 27 came to my mind, "wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say on the Lord!"

I meditated on His word day and night... waiting to be discharged... and every day, they just fed me with vitamins... hahaha...

thank God, the finally came when the doc reports indicate that the enzyme level went down and I was discharged shortly after...

But even when i was back home, i struggled with the trauma of the near death experience and had trouble sleeping... I battled insomnia for a few months before it hit me full force again 2 years ago... I would lay awake whole nights tossing and turning in my bed for almost 2 weeks... I was still battling with the fear in my heart that I had not let go...

till one night, I came before the Lord and surrendered my soul unto Him...

and He said this to me," spiritual rest is more important than physical rest."

I took His advice, I spent time with Him and got His peace before I could sleep again... then He revealed to me spiritual dynamics that I was only beginning to understand then...

He began to show me that I used to sleepwalk when I was younger and that was because I was so spiritually senstive to the spiritual realm, my spirit would feel the vibes and react...

thus came my 2nd spiritual training. I began to realise that whenever i start to get restless in my spirit and become unable to sleep, it'd usually mean that the spiritual climate is changing and it usually signals warfare... (it can be quite bothersome sometimes cos during the Hungry Ghost Festival, I will get these vibes, and I gotta get up and pray before I could sleep...)

I know it's just part of God's training for me to be His prayer warrior; His watchman for the city.

During that period, I'd have dreams about fighting prrincipalities and I rem one day the Lord told me to rise up to fight against the spirit that was oppressing me in my thoughts and bringing fear into my mind and spirit. I rose up, worshipped, rebuked the spirit and I never had fear ever since then.

I knew then that "the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled."

the fear was irrational and i knew in my spirit it was spiritual, so the only way to deal with it is with the Spirit of God.

But now I know, so i don get too upset if i can'tt sleep at night... I've learned since then to read the spiritual climate of the land as well as to entrust my health into His hands, that even if I don't sleep, I won't die and He'll still watch over me...

Amidst all this, I had to deal with disappointment at work, relationships, ministry... haha... you name it, i got it... wahaha...

where the Lord disbanded my cell group and I had to give my daughters away... and one of my guys moved up to be with john, my spiritual father, and then my guys became quite lost... haha... one even went to another church, but I had peace in my heart cos when I went with him to visit, the Lord spoke to me it was a good church to leave him with :)

then when i quit my job, the Lord told me that it will not be the place where my dreams will be fulfilled, and He had made me leave to learn something out of it... that I had idolised my dream and wanted to fulfill it in my own ways and not according to His ways...

but the amazing thing is that the Lord exploded my ministry! The youth grew, and so did the Young Adults' side, with my faithful sons running the ministry, I am glad in my heart and excited about what is to come:) the youths are also experiencing exponential growth and are spirit-led in the way they minister and hear God! Praise the Lord! It's a vision I've always wanted to see! Strong spiritual growth in the disciples of Jesus Christ!

"strong births, Lord!" I'd pray :)

So, now as i embark on a new phase of my life, taking a break in between jobs, as He spoke to me to rest and trust in Him, even though the whole world tells me to get a job and the rest of my peers are already a few steps ahead of me... I still struggle at times, but I know there's a deeper work He is doing in my life even in this season of rest.

Strangely, the word "childhood" keeps popping into my mind... even way before I finished the project... I know He wanted to restore something in that... still discovering though... with God, it's always an adventure of discovering new things...

I realised what He has been bringing me through all these while... He has been preparing me for the life of faith that He has always called me to live. But unless I die to my self, I would not be able to walk this path, and follow Aslan, the Great Lion, through the wilderness and the mountains and the valleys, to see great things that He has in store for me. For if I had continued to want my way, and stay on the path of the vision I have for myself, I would not have been able to walk out of my comfort zone and see the GREATER VISION that He has in store for me.

I do not see it yet, for He tells me that the vision that He has for me, is greater and beyond my imagination. I don't even catch a glimpse of it, but I trust Him, I trust His heart that He is a good God and that He will never shortchange me. He will reveal it to me step by step...

right now, I meditate upon His word for me as I battle the demons of doubt and fear that seeks to blind my vision which He has bestowed upon me. :) for without vision, the people perish...

and I gladly lay down my crown before Him, pick up my cross and follow Him, the great Lion of Judah

十面埋伏

That day, during Zest's birthday, very long time ago...

in a galaxy far far away...

on the planet Outback, we had 2 celebrities!! Namely, Andy Lau and Takeshi Kaneshiro (Jin Cheng Wu)!!

*clap clap!!

they were here to promote their latest movie, 十面埋伏 aka House of Flying Daggers!

During the birthday dinner, they performed some death defying dagger tricks :)

Here are the photos...



Andy Lau swallows the dagger!!! Onlookers at the back were totally oblivious...



Andy Lau slowly... but surely... pulls the dagger out of his mouth... he had the audience at the back holding his breath in tension! Is he going to make it??



Ta da!! The trick was successful and Andy quickly poses for his fans :) *clap clap...



and then there's Takeshi licking his dagger, which strangely resembles a fork... and posing with Andy for the parting shot with their fans!

So folks, wow... what a happening time we're having recently, eh?

We had Batman at our Young Adults cell and now we have 2 huge Hong Kong celebs to grace our events! Are we a happening cell group or what?

So, stay tuned folks for more Celebs at this blog! :)

*shing shing! (sword unsheathing sounds)

Wa La Wa La

Alright some pixes from my Wa La Wa La Band Competition.

We casually recorded a few acoustic songs from our pool of original compos and sent them in as a CD.

To our surprise, we actually got it in...

like... "wa... we so slack also get in ah?"

Well, Dylan was really excited about it and called me up to tell me about it... and asked me to check the email...

It's a cause for being excited cos Wa Lax2 supposed to be pretty happening place, this pub...

I was only a little enthusiastic about it though... haha...

Before the competition we were both a little nervous though... and somehow or the other, the word spread and suddenly we had a pretty large group of supporters...

hmm... I'd like to think they were there to support us, but I had a feeling it was a matter of convenience since everyone just wanted to find a place to chill after service... hahaha...

but really, thanks guys for being there! Your presence is greatly appreciated...




Me on the mic, crooning... while dylan was on the guit mooning...



there we were wondering how to start...



me and Mad. One of my fan club presidents. :) wa haha....

So, the competition went on, it was very stiff considering there were semi-pro bands there... their techniques were fantastic and we were really outshone by many of the bands there...

But one thing that came from it was that we had a good experience. It was an exposure and it really spurred us on to better our skills if we really wanna be commercially viable...

Was I disappointed? A little, but well, I know God has a better plan :)

Prada

after the jam session, I met up with 2 sisters in Christ of mine to have dinner.

it was really a good time of catching up. talked about everything from teaching (cos my friend's a teacher and she was talking about how the new generation thinks and learns), to the "Tipping Point" (a book which I really recommend everyone who's interested in marketing and just basic human pyschology to read) and of course Koraen dramas :) or just korean drama (Samsoon!)

right... anyway, on a whim of fancy, we just decided to go catch "the Devil wears Prada"

I must say, it must be the best show I've watched so far this year.

It's been a long... loooooong... time, since I've watched a show with intelligent dialogue and a storyline that though pretty much linear, leaves you thinking about the decisions you make in your life. Strangely, within one week, I've caught 2 movies that dealt with similar issues about balancing between your work life and relationships (the other was Click) Is God trying to tell me something or is it just pure movie scheduling on the part of cinema companies... ? fine line between the divine and the mundane...

But i would definitely recommend this show to my gal pals and all the girls out there, cos it is covered with branded bags, shoes, clothes, make-ups and numerous beautifully dressed and made up women for your fashion survey.

the guys........ you should just watch it for obvious reasons...

to know your girlfriends better and to make value-added fashion comments and feedback should they require your assistance...

what were you thinking...



but the part that got my attention most was not the twist of the story at the end of the show or the glitzy super models strutting down the fashion runways. It was the part when Anne Hathaway, the said lead character in the show was given a pep talk by a colleague of hers to wake up her idea and be serious about her work.

so, do catch the show and hopefully you get the drift when you come to that part.

cheers!

自爽

long day today.

we went jamming! yeah! it was me, jx, lester, danae, chao yang and basia. 3sa was suposed to join us but she couldn't cos she had to visit her cousin at the hospital. heard he had a car accident. not too bad i hope.

well, we jammed for 3 hours... basically, sang all the songs we sang at church plus a few more unknown ones... haha... it was pretty chaotic though cos most of the time, the vocalists were lost and the musicians (mua on bass, jx on guit, lester on drums) were just happily playing away, totally oblivious to the rest... wahaha...

after a while chao yang got fed up and he gave this phenomenon a term, called 自爽, literally translated as "self shiok" means we only make ourselves happy and totally ignore the happiness of others... am I making sense here?

but really, who cares? as long as we feel shiok, it doesn't matter... (<= 自爽 at work. commonly known as selfish desires at work aka sinful nature)